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Step 1 of 3: sort
Circle of control
Add what is on your mind, then put each one in the circle where it belongs.
Start by adding what is on your mind. Then tap one, and tap the circle where it belongs.
Or pick from these:
To sort (0)
Nothing yet. Add a worry above.
I can control (0)
My words, my choices, my effort and how I treat people.
I can influence (0)
Things I can have a say in, but cannot decide alone.
I can't control (0)
Other people's choices, the weather, the past and the news.
An educational aid to use with a therapist, teacher or parent. It is not a medical device and does not diagnose anything.
What is a circle of control?
A circle of control is three circles, one inside the other. The middle holds what you can control: your words, your choices, your effort, how you treat people. The next ring holds what you can influence: things you can have a say in but cannot decide alone, like a grade, a friendship or a family plan. The outside holds what you cannot control: other people's choices, the weather, the past, the news.
Worry tends to spread across all three. Sorting it shows where effort can make a difference, and where it is time to practice letting go. The idea is old. The Stoic philosopher Epictetus taught that some things are up to us and some are not. In 1989, Stephen Covey's book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People described a circle of concern and a smaller circle of influence inside it. The three-circle version used here, which splits what you control yourself from what you can only influence, builds on that idea and is widely used by therapists and school counselors.
How to use the circle of control
- Type what is on your mind, or pick from the sample worries for kids, teens or adults.
- Place each one in a circle. Tap a worry and then tap a circle, drag it in, or use the buttons under "Where does it go?" A prompt appears after each one.
- If a worry has parts in more than one circle, split it. Add "the test questions" and "how I study" as two cards.
- Press "Make my plan." Write what you will do for each worry you can control or influence, and choose ways to let go of the rest.
- Print the plan or copy it as text. Nothing is saved.
Circle of control worksheet for kids
The Kids samples are everyday worries a child can picture: the weather on field day, a hard test, making a new friend, cleaning up a room. A few tips:
- There is no answer key. When a child places a card somewhere unexpected, ask why. The prompt may mention where many people would put it, as a way into the conversation.
- Kids often put grown-up problems, like money or a parent's illness, in their own circle. Moving those outside, gently, can be a relief.
- End with one small thing in the middle circle they can do this week, and write it down together.
- For a group or a classroom, print the worry cards on page three of the PDF and sort them on the big circle.
Circle of control for teens and adults
For teens and adults, the middle ring usually matters most. A grade, a relationship or a job offer is rarely fully in or out of our control. The plan step asks two practical questions for those: how can I have a say, and who could I talk to? For what is truly outside the circle, it offers ways to set the worry down, like naming it and letting it pass, or bringing attention back to what is happening now. If a lot ends up outside, the coping skills toolbox has more ideas, and the anger iceberg helps when feeling powerless turns into anger.
Using it in a session and over telehealth
- Open this page before the session and choose the samples for kids, teens or adults.
- Share your screen and press Present mode, so the circles fill the screen in large print.
- Ask the client what is on their mind and type it in, or send the link so they can sort on their own device.
- Read each prompt aloud as a question. They work best as a conversation, not a script.
- Finish with the plan, and print it or copy it into your notes. It is never sent to us.
Why sorting worries helps
A common step in therapy for worry and anxiety is telling apart worries you can act on from worries you cannot. The first kind gets a plan and a first step. The second kind gets practice in noticing the worry and letting it be. Seeing them sorted on one page often makes a pile of worries feel smaller and more manageable. For more help with worry, see our page on anxiety therapy.
Printable circle of control worksheet (PDF)
The free PDF has three pages: a blank circle of control worksheet with room for a "what I can do" plan; a kids version with examples in each circle and three simple questions; and 16 worry cards for kids and teens to cut out and sort. It is free to print and share with clients, students and families.
