Family Therapy Games

Three family therapy games

Add the names of who is playing at the top, if you like, so the games can say whose turn it is. Then pick a game.

Family question cards

Choose one or more decks, then draw a card and take turns answering. Some cards say "Everyone answers". Anyone can pass, and Pass draws a new card for the same person. There are six decks:

• Warm-up (all ages): light and silly, to get everyone talking.
• Feelings (ages 6 and up): naming feelings and what helps with them.
• Memories (all ages): stories, traditions and good times.
• Our family (ages 8 and up): how the family works, and what could work better.
• Dreams and thanks (all ages): hopes, goals and appreciation.
• Teens and grown-ups (teens and adults): deeper questions for older kids and adults.

Rose, thorn and bud check-in

Each person shares three things: a rose (something good), a thorn (something hard) and a bud (something they are looking forward to). It is quick, it gives everyone an equal turn, and it opens up a session without anyone being singled out. Turn on the listening step to have the next person say back what they heard:

1. Listen without jumping in. No fixing, no arguing.
2. Say back what you heard: "Your rose was..., your thorn was..."
3. Ask: "Did I get it right?" Then say thanks.

The check-in ends with a table of everyone's answers to print or copy, if anyone typed them.

Family agreements builder

Start with what the family is good at, then choose a few agreements everyone can say yes to, from ideas like these or in your own words. It ends with a poster to print, sign and put on the fridge.

• Kindness and respect. For example: We speak kindly, even when we are upset.
• When we disagree. For example: Anyone can ask for a break, and we come back to it later.
• Feelings. For example: All feelings are okay. Hurting people or things is not.
• Screens and phones. For example: Phones stay away from the dinner table.
• Helping at home. For example: Everyone has a job that fits their age.
• Time together. For example: One family night a week.

Using family therapy activities in a session

• Start light. A warm-up card or two settles a nervous family before harder questions.
• Play along yourself. When the therapist answers too, it feels like a game and not an interview.
• Let a parent go first on deeper cards, to show that it is safe to be honest.
• Watch how the family plays as much as what they say: who answers for whom, who interrupts, who goes quiet, and who notices.
• Make passing normal. A family member who can say no is more likely to say yes later.
• Use the agreements builder after a few sessions, once the family has named what goes wrong. Agreements written together tend to last longer than rules handed down.

Family therapy games over telehealth

1. Open the page before the session and add the names of who is joining.
2. Share your screen and press Present mode, so the card or poster fills the screen.
3. Draw the cards yourself and read each one aloud, so younger children who cannot read yet can play.
4. At the end, print or copy the check-in or the poster for your notes, or for the family to keep.

With younger kids and with teens

For children under about 8, use the warm-up, memories and thanks decks, read the cards aloud, and switch the check-in to kid-friendly words. Keep turns short and let them draw something instead of talking if they prefer. Teens often roll their eyes at family games and then answer anyway. Give them the teens and grown-ups deck, let them pick which cards stay in, and do not push for more than they offer.

Family therapy worksheets (printable PDF)

The free PDF has four pages: two pages of question cards to cut out (36 cards, six from each deck), a rose, thorn and bud check-in worksheet for the whole family, and a family strengths and agreements worksheet to fill in and sign. It is free to print and share.

Mapping the wider family? Try the genogram maker. Looking for help at home? Read about family therapy at Crown Counseling.